Ugh.

Or perhaps not so ugh. School has started up again, meaning that my free time has dropped well below zero. Between cross country and AP homework I have barely enough time to sleep and eat, which could concievably account for my extreme lack of posting. Not that anyone notices. It's cool. I understand. Besides, I'm keeping the promise in the url. AP Studio is definitely my favorite class of the day. Sit and draw while trying to ignore Sophie shuffling papers and trimming photos across from me. No, she still isn't really talking to me in the normal sense, but at least I'm not getting cold shoulder anymore. A "hi" in the hallway is a tremendous improvement, dear internet, and one that I am content with for the moment. As I have said, it's better than nothing.
There have also been new developments on that front. In talking with my friend Leah, I have discovered that the reason she dumped me was because of "bad timing". I honestly don't know how Leah thought that was possibly justified; in the beginning Sophie was plenty ready to work out some system of meeting. I think that was just the excuse she told all of her friends, or used to justify it to herself. It just has that kind of logic where you have to believe it before it makes sense in order for it to make sense. Like religion. Anyway, there is a LOAD more I would like to say about that, but on the off chance somebody I know stumbles across this page, lets just say I'd rather them not know some things I have noticed. I might come off as paranoid and overly analytic. Maybe I am. That's what you think, isn't it? ISN'T IT??
Ah well. I can't really decide for myself if I want her back or not. Perhaps with this separation we will have gained a new appreciation for each other's idiosyncracies, but chances are it will never be able to be the same. There will always be that hesitancy, the caution, like treading on eggshells and trying not to break any. What I really want, I guess, is for her to have never left in the first place.